I arrived home Sunday night to.. well we’ll call it a photo shoot. I do a lot of these things, photo shoots, promotional events, hosting etc., and this one was a little different.

This was at home, on the landing, with a bedside lamp & a camera phone  🙂 (Well, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do!)

Since joining the project, he has been…well.. obsessed & over come with creative juices and is completely revamping things. (Side note: this has been quite effective in promoting the band!) Since I am the one closest to him, and I happen to be a model (of sorts,) he uses me to help in his endeavor. While these things have been directly related to the band, it has been fun to be the power couple creatively that we have spent years developing. With his band smarts, my hot friends, and our promotional creativity- we could probably rule the world.

Funny thing is though, while I like the attention in my life (Surprise Surprise,) I like that he gets the attention in his life. I’m not so sure we should be combining the two.

I don’t want to be the Yoko to his Lennon and while its better, I don’t want to be the Gwen Stefani to his Gavin. How often do these entertainment power couples really work out?

  • Lucy & Ricky- Nope
  • Marilyn & Kennedy- (we’ll let that one go)
  • Yoko & Lennon- say goodbye to the band
  • Brangelina.. well they aren’t even married & they broke up his marriage
  • Diana & Charles- That ended before it really ended
  • Gwen & Gavin- Brief success regarding their breakup before we lost No Doubt
  • JLo& Ben- Resulted in Marc Anthony… nuff said.

 

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I post a lot of stuff about working hard at having a happy relationship. Fact is- I want to kill him sometimes, and I know he wants to do the same to me. This has been especially true as of late, reminding me to bring our relationship back to a grass-roots tactic.

This transition into a new role has been challenging on both of, and the real world still exists outside the bright lights & merch booths. Fact is, I love the music these guys are producing and they are killing it locally (even heading out on a few stops in the region coming up.) The guys in the band are awesome as are the other girls behind them. But I contest it is even harder being the girlfriend to the new guy in the band than it is to be the new guy in the band (stay with me…)

He went to an audition, he killed it, they loved him.
 
I have to get the guys to like me.
I have to get the girls to like me.
I have to learn their music and lifestyle
PLUS- I have to deal with a stressed out Drumboy because he’s afraid he’s being judged

(Newsflash- everyone freakin loves him!)

Dealing with an overly-packed schedule for him, the stress of the new for both of us, my feeling neglected (girl thing,) and I dunno… I’ll add the heat- truth is, we’ve been at each other’s throats lately. (Oh, and there’s LIFE.. have I mention life doesn’t stop because you’re in a band?!)

I’m taking it back to the basics.

The Beatles said it- All we need is LOVE.

Remembering who we fell in love with, not Drumboy & Model- but actual People! We are People with real names, real feelings and real life happening outside of the industry we are involved in. Yes we spend a lot of time on the couch together unwinding and we listen to live music out at venues, but what happened to going to the movies, getting coffee on Sunday morning, or watching sports together? Oh ya, they were taken over by errands, music sessions, photo shoots, and promotions (gahh.. I miss Sunday night football/dinner/couch night!)

Stress is something that happens in everyone’s life but it is especially difficult to separate ourselves from our roles when we consistently are playing a part for someone else. The two of us have been playing a role in each other’s lives for over 2 years, we can get through this, it is just important to remember which role is the real one. With real benefits, real longevity, and real LOVE.

Bandaide of All Shapes & Sizes

Posted: February 23, 2012 in Uncategorized

So it has been quite a while since my last update on being a bandaide, mostly because there hasn’t been much going on. Partly because there has been too much going on!

My most recent revelation in being a bandaide is that sometimes the band that you’re aiding will change! That’s right, he’s the newest addition to an original project and he’s super stoked. Me.. not so sure yet! A new project for him (yet an already established band) means more rehearsal hours, more photo shoots, more boys night out bonding time. (Read: more time alone on the couch for me, or BONUS! more girls’ night out!)

The hardest part about all of this is I don’t know these guys, they don’t know me. Will they like me? Will I like their music? Of course I’ll like the music, but will I like them? Will they think of me as Penny Lane or Yoko? It’s a twisted cyclonic cycle which is a futile process because in the end- of course they will like me, and I will like them because I support a piece of their project.

In my intro posting I mention that the venue, band, and location may change, but my gig stays the same. It is especially true in times of transition. Staying by his side as he auditioned and watching his face light up when he spoke about the prospect of something new meant this was then new path. Knowing before others did and watching it progress to release was fun. Getting ready for his first show is- work. For both of us. He spends more time rehearsing, more time bonding, and more time thinking about it. However, he still needs someone by his side and he still remembers who he wants by his side.

I mentioned previously how difficult it is to go out somewhere locally to enjoy ourselves. It seems no matter where we go the local band scene is incestual and everyone knowns everyone. With the line of work I took part it, I know too many people as well. With the whirlwind around us right now, we discovered we can drive an hour to a small town and enjoy ourselves. It’s important to enjoy each other.

Roll with the tides, dodge the bullets, and kiss in the rain. Enjoy life, appreciate what comes your way, and so it is!

One of the aspects I mentioned in my earlier post is learning to pace one’s self during a very LONG night of drinking. While most people in my area come out to the bars around 10pm and leave between 1 and 2, I am usually headed to the bar around 7 and leaving between 2 and 3 after breakdown. When you have nothing else to really do, throwing 1 or 10 back can be pretty simple.

Last weekend I partook in a few too many of these poisonous beauties and was reminded what a hangover feels like! I woke up feeling not quite right and the vomiting post 3 sips of coffee proved my inklings to be correct! However, while I was lying on the couch, cold compress on my head and wanting to die, I got to thinking- What in the world causes a hangover?!

So alas, I bring you- The Pain Behind the Party!

I’ll paint the picture for you-

1 vodka soda, 3 vodka red bulls, 1 sunkist bomber, 3 red-headed sluts, 1 Irish car bomb, 1 shot of Jack Daniels.. and between 3 and 5 Guiness to wash that all down went through my 125lb frame that night. I was having a ton of fun with my friends, laughing, chatting, dancing, and drinking. I even finished it off with a nice talk and sharing a social smoke with my buddy outside while Drumboy packed up the car to go… well you already know how the next morning went, lets inspect WHY!

I have also heard many cures: bananas, loaf of bread, sweating it out, hangover prevention pills, greasy food, 2 Advil and some water before bed, coconut water, cold shower, we know them all. However, the only true cure I have found for a hangover is to not drink it to begin with (mmmhhhmmm, I’ll try that one of these days!)

When it comes to science the biggest and brightest flashing bulb to our symptoms is DEHYDRATION! Lack of water on any given day will give us a headache, make us tired and groggy, puffy eyed and bloated. Add the actual dehydrating effects of alcohol (apparently an ingredient in alcohol reduces our ability to retain necessary water, seemingly tripling the required amount.)

Dehydration also attributes to our eyes being bloodshot since our vessels are restricted with lack of oxygen in the blood and our lack of body strength and that wonderful cotton mouth we experience. So I guess if you drink a few gallons of water while drinking, you may get ahead of the game.. but I wouldn’t bet on it.

The other symptoms come from our bodies ability (or lack thereof) to digest and get rid of alcohol in our system. It sits our stomach, irritating it and causing that wonderful second round of what ever you put in it along with cramping and nausea.

Hot flashes, accelerated heart rate, and low blood sugar are also present when our alcohol levels get high, aka when we have more than one drink per hour which is the average rate of metabolizing alcohol.

Mood changes and fatigue are also symptoms, which scientists say go hand in hand. Have you ever noticed how you will knock out cold like you were socked by Holyfield after a night of drinking, but you can wake up at 7 AM feeling rested, only to fall back asleep on and off by noon. While sleep causes us to pass out, it doesn’t facilitate QUALITY sleep, so we aren’t really getting what we need. This lack of sleep plus the fact alcohol blocks serotonin (probably related to dehydration, that seems to be the culprit,) causes us to be moody irritable creatures (never mind the fact you’re vomiting, hot, can’t eat, and puffy- that would never make you cranky!)

SO – there it is. It won’t cure your hangover, but now you won’t sit in the shower for twenty minutes pondering why you’re hot and nauseas after drinking half the bar. Do yourself a favor and at least chase that beer with some good old fashion H2O!

Now, enjoy something funnier than your own hangover- Someone else’s hangover!

 

 

My Gig- The Couch!

Posted: June 11, 2011 in Uncategorized

In the beginning I mentioned one very important aspect of the role of being a bandaide;

You must be there on the side of the stage cheering them on, and you must also be the one to lay with him on the couch on Sunday afternoon.

I was reminded by the importance of the latter these last couple of weeks. While I love cheering him on, being his number 1 fan, and getting dressed up to hang out at his gigs from   7pm until 1 am- the quiet times are the best.

I went to his gig, had a bite to eat with the band and sat center stage for the people watching and classic rock. Saturday morning we woke up together and cooked breakfast in the kitchen; something we have never done together before. But the best day of the week was yesterday.

One day we got together and enjoyed some time at the pool, enjoyed some frozen margs in a bag! We caught some sun, took a little cat nap and just laid in each other’s company. We followed our fun in the sun with a drive around the neighborhoods full of houses we could never afford. We drove up the mountains, looked down on our city. We joked about who might live there, and the amazing luxury these people have been afforded. However, we both decided it is much better to be in our shoes than it is to be in theirs.  We spent most of the afternoon driving around with the top down just enjoying each other’s company. Then we finished the day off with a home cooked dinner and a night out at the drive in.  

So this entry isn’t specific to Bandaide’s but to really to everyone who reads this. Life can take us swirling in all directions, it can tug and twist and bend our relationships in all directions and if we aren’t careful- it can even break them. It is important to remember that who we are with is what is important in life. Who we are with- not what they are, where they go, or who they become- and how they make us feel when we are with them.

So in my original posting I mention how we are often alone at the bar, checking out the scenery and learning to pace our people watching. What can I say, sometimes we aren’t alone and sometimes you can’t help but over indulge in people watching!

I’m out with a fellow Bandaide, we are in a different part of town where it’s not unusual to see the Happy-hour goers spill over into the later parts of the evening. They end up in a bar with people in the generations below them, after their bed time and usually once they’ve had too much to drink. Don’t worry- this is entertaining for us. It’s even better when its the cover band playing classic rock and we get to bring everyone back to the days of their youth. You know, their singing that little ditty about Jack & Diane, or perhaps they’ll grab the closest female and start singing Browned Eyed Girl.. even though her eyes are green or blue..

One of my favorite species is … the Cougar.

I’m developing a theory about Cougars who are out on a Friday night watching coverbands- They are groupies who never got to live out their groupie fantasies. Wannabe Groupies if you will.

These women are reminiscent of ‘that girl’ that I spoke of earlier, flipping her hair, wearing misgenerated clothing and laughing a little too loud at everyone’s jokes. But she’s not quite that over the top- and this isn’t her normal routine.

I couldn’t help but notice the searing eyes in my direction when I walked into the bar during the bands break. I gave the man a hug and mingled with the band and Bandaide’s alike. I figured maybe this lady just had a little too much to drink and I was overreacting about the eye daggers. Then my fellow Bandaide (whom I appreciate dearly-) told me this lady went on and on about liking drummers….

ahhh.. I get the eye daggers now.. I was just waiting for the claws.

But of course she was harmless, once The Man made it clear by latching onto my back pocket that he was not on the market. We later witnessed said Cougar go for a Cub- dancing and making out with a kid who was probably young enough to be her son.. quite disturbing but I’m not one to hate the playa….

Moving on from Cougars, there was a plethora of visual entertainment young and old alike dancing along cheers-ing with every guitar solo, singing along to Drama Rama, and general drunken fun. But as I also mentioned earlier, these people choose to spend their hard-earned money to watch the band play when they could be anywhere.

My favorite in particular was the man I’m pretty sure was a former stripper- he was also using his drink as a prop. He’d drop it low, put his glass on the ground and frame it like it was vogue. While we tried to stay out of the way it was nearly impossible. He’d go left so I’d go far right- next thing I knew he was there like Houdini. There was really nothing I could do about it and who was I stop him from getting his groove on in his Tommy Bahama shirt, khaki shorts and sandals.

I could have drank water that whole night and had plenty of entertainment and ability to cut loose. Never underestimate the ability to just sit back and people watch!

So last weekend I took my 3 year old nephew to see HOP! Just in time for Easter 🙂

For anyone that hasn’t seen HOP yet, it is a story about the Easter Bunny, but of course one particular aspect stood out to me. E.B. is quite the avid and aspiring drummer in the movie-

Who knew?! The Easter Bunny a Drummer!

This got me to thinking about how music plays such a big part in the movies.

Moreover, how animated characters often take on the parts of musicians and shape our view of music as children.

While children today listen to the likes of the Wiggles, there was once a time where music & animation went hand in hand.. and it was actually pretty cool.

Let’s take a journey back through our childhood and those beloved characters-

I want to start with one of my all-time favorites Alvin & the Chipmunks! Someone decided that children would love to watch 3 chipmunks (for all sake & purposes- rodents,) in shirts who could sing?! And you know what- they were RIGHT! Their crazy antics and soulful lessons made it almost seem normal to want to see a rock concert featuring rodents.

Then there were the California Raisins! I mean really, singing humiliated grapes- but again, it worked!! I actually owned a California Raisins record (yes record,) and my brother had sheets featuring their shriveled little selves.

Charlie Brown had that loveable little pianist- Schroeder!!  And you didn’t think I would forget Jem did you?! Fraggle Rock knew how to bring down the house, and even Care Bears used to jam from time to time.

It is amazing to see how someone we watched so regularly as a child really has a lifelong impact on how we view arts and music. The ManFriend goes back to playing some regular gigs pretty soon, so I’ll have some better life lessons from the girl at the end of the bar. For now, go show a kid some of the golden days of animated rockstars!

So I took the night off from being a drummer’s bandaide last weekend, and I took my little cousin to see a group of bands I’d never heard of before. While I had never heard of any of them, I agreed because I remember how much fun I had during my first few concerts and I figured why not (see.. I do have a ♥!)

To satisfy your intrigue, I went to see

Go Radio

Runner Runner

Valencia

Anarbor

& A Rocket to The Moon

(You’re probably making the same “huh” face I was!)

So I arrive at the location, a dingy, almost terrifying dive bar but again, I remember the gloriousness of going to my first concert without my parents, so I keep my head up and pretend its the coolest thing ever.

I look around upon entering and am immediately confused whether I should be waiting in the ‘parents’ corner or if I belonged in the crowd with the other tweens. I decided I was still worthy of hangin with the youngsters.. after all- I don’t have kids!

There were a few things I realized once the bands fired up and started playing their loud racket (*said in a crotchety old man’s voice)

* There is always ‘the cute one’ in every boy band.

*Young tweens will always scream at decibels beyond dog’s hearing, and reach for the chance for said Rockstar to simply sweat on them.

* The jean jacket may never go out of style

* Boy Bands are some type of scientifically mutated phenomenon that will just continue to regenerate themselves in a mutated form of some sort (no really.. keep reading.)

There were a few exceptions in the day where 1 man could be good-looking enough to win over thousands of screaming, estrogen filled, puberty driven, jail bait (such as Elvis and who can ignore Beiber Fever!)

Most people have stated the first manufactured boy band credit belongs to the Monkees back in the mid 60’s. However, Elvis came before them and who could ever forget Old Blue Eyes (Frank Sinatra for those to young to know.. google it!) In fact, there is just something about a Man on a Stage who sings about loving women that makes us loose our minds to this day.. we can now vote, hold jobs, run Fortune 500 companies.. but a man and a mic.. WHEW- we lose it!

The funny thing is, maybe reading my blog about ACTUALLY being a relationship with one of these fine crooners might change their mind and rather keep the posters on their walls and the men at arms length- like I’ve said, it’s not for the faint of heart.

So looking back through history, I’d like to take a journey of boy bands. Be sure to submit your favorites that I’ve forgotten (and women, next time you see a boy band.. let loose and scream like you did when you were 15!)

Frank Sinatra– Crooner, Actor, Rat Packer, VEGAS ICON.. Old Blue Eyes could just ooze debonair and romantic.

Monkees– A truly FABRICATED boy band, designed and molded to make us women swoon. They had a popular TV about them being a band  (although they never played their instruments,) which then led to the popularity and the patented Monkee Walk.

Elvis Presley– Who could forget the hip thrust and the Blue Suede Shoes?! If you don’t know who Elvis is.. you can just quit reading now and go shame yourself in the corner.)

Beatles– Again, the hair, the sound, the look, the BRITISH TAKEOVER.. if you don’t know who the Beatles are.. just stay in the corner to which I’ve already shamed you.

Jackson Five– Before Michael and Janet hit the world with Scream, the Jackson Five made women swoon over ABC and Little Bitty Pretty one!

We’ll skip ahead a bit to the ones that made me swoon my little ♥ out when I was just a wee one! (While other existed.. I’ve only got so many characters!)

NKOTB (New Kids on the Block)- STEP BY STEP (OOOOO BABY…) ok.. you know you all did the SAME thing! Wielding one awkward member, one actually talented, Marky Mark, and one hell of a marketing team… NKOTB took over the United States in Early 90’s and are actually making a comeback as those of us who swooned the first time and looking to make our daughters and nieces do the same!

The 90’s saw a whole slew of pre-fab boy bands and they seems to have perfected the equation and could churn them out into little money-making dynamo’s (until one inevitably ends up in rehab, another knocks a girl up, and the others just can handle it anymore!)

Boyz II Men– A staple for every first date and every 6th grade dance..SWOON CITY.

BSB v. N’Sync– Wielding some of the greatest power in the United States in the late 90’s, these two bands could have started a Civil War in the US over who loved which band (because you can’t like both, I was huge MMC fan,so I’ll let you decide which team I’m on!!) After they quit playin games with our hearts, these boy bands went Bye bye bye..

Hanson, 98 Degrees, Five, O-Town, LFO, and others attempted to make their mark MMMbop’in and girls of summer’d their way to one hit wonderville (ok.. or at least one album.. but I really saw Trevor from O-Town slummin it in Scottsdale basically getting girls to buy HIM drinks.. where’s Diddy when the money runs out?!)

However, it seems the genre has shifted from bubble gum pop to pretty punk bands! (I guess we like our guys with a little bit of edge!) Blink 182, Good Charlotte, Foo Fighters, Vayden, Hinder, Buck Cherry, and now going back a little lighter, we find ourselves at Go Radio, Runner Runner, and the Biebs…

Like I said.. they are a scientific regenerating disease these men are…

There is something to be said for going out and just letting go, but when music is your job- its not such an easy concept.

In the rare occassion that we get to go out to a show where he’s not playing in the band, I often find that we are posted up on a barstool, enjoying our beers and simply listening to the music. Everyone around us is pulling out their best dance moves- the lawn  mower, the window washer, the running man, the foxtrot and even the Dougie! Heck, they may even be making some pizza or dusting off their blue suede shoes.

So how is it that two people who love music so much are unable to let loose and just have fun?

You have to learn how to turn it off and get back to the heart and soul of music- it is a celebratory ritual- So CELEBRATE!

From the Gregorian chants of the early church, to the English Madrigals, well into Mozart, and the twentieth century’s Electric Slide,  and many others- Music is a sign of change, development, and event.

From Weddings, to Sporting Events, Church services, Birthday Parties, Holiday parties, you name it- we make a playlist for it. We celebrate our birthdays, get over our first love, socialize with friends, share our feelings, and exercise to music-its present everywhere we go, through generations, across ethnicities and religions, and over oceans to unite people.

The moral of the story is, remember the base and purpose of music and its ability to bring people together. Let go, get loose, and break it down out on the dance floor!

If you need some inspiration, hit up the clip below!

When I conceived this project, I did so with an anonymity that would permit full disclosure. Of course the purpose of my ramblings are to provide you with a chuckle amidst your everyday routine, however, I also want to be honest about everyday work of being a band aide. With that said, not every post will be fluffy bunnies, rainbows, and blueberries- I also promised to share the run-ins and the loneliness.

Given the fact that the perfect person doesn’t exist, it is simlple logic to say that the perfect relationship does not exist either.

While I’ve urged the message that being a band aide takes a certain kind of person, being the person dating the band aide (aka the band member,) also takes a special person.

Band aides are independent, we are friendly boisterous personalities, we are pretty 🙂 and we are often left alone in bars.

Ergo… boys in bars will talk to me, they will hit on me, and I will be bored so I will strike up a conversation (*Disclaimer: I always make a point of letting them know I’m a bandaide!*)

While this is happening, your bandboy has no choice but to watch, and there is nothing they can do about it. No matter the level of trust, or the number of times the same situation has gone down- eventually  it will strike a nerve.

But what do you do? Who is right? Is a Bandaide supposed to sit and be lonely and avoid contact with others? Is the bandboy supposed to feel nothing that time and time again his bandaide is approached by others,and others get to engage in time with your bandaide that you cannot?

Sitting by yourself is lonely- whether  you are the bandaide, or the band member. You are both sitting alone and it is important to remember this. You both must remember to discuss how you are feeling, and remember to be respectful of one another. Very easily tempers can fly, words can be exchaged, and this will increase with each drink you’re served (occupational hazard of Bandaides and bandmembers alike!)

Acknowledging you’re lonely sitting at the end of the bar listening to a set for the 78th time is important.

However, acknowledging how lonely you’d be without your band member for every day he’s not playing- is far greater.